Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Pre-election rambling


(These are just events that happened and the response it evoked in me. Not insightful at all)

How is this for a start: there would be three dry days in Delhi during election? What a way to dampen spirits eh! Quite literally.

Sobriety aside, Delhi election had been pegged as a war of egos. For the BJP, losing here would raise serious doubts over their ability to govern since they just assumed majority in general elections and had over seven months of reign in Delhi during this period. For AAP, losing would inevitably see their demise. For Congress…well, where were we!

As expected, the big guns came out…you know the ones at level 99 of the classic game: mud slinger.

One said: tu chor. The other said: tu chor. My auto driver said: chor-chor mausere bhai! (Someone make him the CM).

One said: he ran away. The other said: she ran away. I am still figuring where.

One said: let us debate in assembly. The other said: let us debate in public. The supporters are still debating over which venue is suitable.

One said: we promise 30% discount on electricity bills. The other promised 50%. No one mentioned  that conditions applied.

One said: you behave like a dictator. The other said: you behave like a dictator. Hitler went: how cute!

While this was going on I saw huge posters of “Delhi chale Modi ke saath”… I mean we get it but wouldn’t becoming CM, now, be a step down? Someone clarified that he was not going to be the CM too… oh ok then!    

The media went crazy as usual. Every news channel had a panel of ‘experts’. Some even roped in Chetan Bhagat… I mean Delhi isn’t even a state bro, let alone two states. One channel claimed AAP to win 36 seats, the other channel showed 37 just to spite the first one. One said that the Modi wave was still on, the other denied it saying it was Kejriwal wave. Someone pointed out that it had snowed in Shimla and it was a cold wave. The spokesperson of BJP and AAP went for each other’s throats while the one from Congress cleared his throat: Ahem! guys guys…I am here too you know. Journalists went from pillar to post to organize a debate Ravish took the piece of cake by offering ‘mulethi’ (Dude’s awesome!).

In between Obama visited Delhi too and we went from counting votes to counting designer stripes. Obama quoted from DDLJ and we were convinced how ‘Bhartiya sanskriti’ would eventually dominate ‘western civilisation’. I wondered if DDLJ could be made the national movie of India.

In what felt like ‘taare zameen par’, 11 union ministers, hundreds of MLA’s from all over India and even the PM came out to promote BJP which does seem too much given the geographical and demographic size of Delhi (It is a city for crying out loud!). We might face a fiscal deficit but there was no deficit of leadership in here. AAP could not do the same so they just asked Kumar Vishwas to write a few funny lines. Rahul Gandhi didn’t even bother getting out of the quilt.

Some party switching took place and most prominent among them were Shazia Ilmi from AAP to BJP and Krishna Teerath from Congress to BJP. Coincidentally football transfer season was on in January too (I’m not saying they are related). Ms Bedi joined BJP and gave us a new perspective of the solar system. She also showed us her Modi scrapbook and we all went Awww! The party ticket scenario was one of railway reservation during tatkal hours.

The point is that it was all pointless. The thought should have been that who had a better plan and intent for development. Radio, televisions, movie theatres, metro compartments, and even trees in parks have politicians winking at us. The noxious has turned obnoxious and as the election comes closer everything has gone spiraling down uncontrollably.

There is indeed a strong chance of AAP winning in Delhi but that should not be construed as vindication of faith in them. They would get votes because there is a feeling of BJP becoming all powerful and unchecked in the absence of opposition. They might win but they would be chosen as an alternative as people still have reservations regarding their ability to govern. They will be much scrutinized if they come to power and the pressure would be relentless.

There still remains so much to add but I am writing this in a car and they are towing it away with me inside. I wonder if they thought I was the PM.