You and I were born naked. Did it matter at that time? No. But
as we grew up and underwent the process of socialization we were taught to wear
underwear. It was the civil thing to do. It seemed to have a purpose and well, to
a certain extent it does. We became so accustomed to underwear that we started
taking it for granted. It became a routine part of our lives, like another skin
and we feel quite naked inside without it. Yet there are people who do not like
wearing underwear, they just don’t like its stifling effect (liberals eh!).
Now, there are different types of underwear like briefs,
boxers, trunks etc. for guys (I’m a bit ignorant on those for women) and we
wear them as per our comfort. We move from one type to the other as we realize the
utility of the next one. Obviously we don’t go about shouting in the streets
telling people about the type of underwear we have on, though we have the
fundamental right to do so. We generally keep it to our self and maintain it
our self. The point being that underwear, essentially, is as personal as it
gets.
This brings me to a few questions that are indeed stifling:
1) Do we claim that our underwear is better than
yours? If some people do, we usually ignore them, discounting for their immaturity.
2) Do we form something like ‘All India Briefs
Association’ and proudly claim to be a part of such an association?
3) Do we ever do something like ‘Chaddi Waapsi’
andolan for those unfateful lot who have lost their way into a boxer short?
4) Do we berate those who insist on not wearing
underwear? We frown, but most often they are left to their means.
5)
Do we feel that all of a sudden “our underwear
is under threat”?
6)
Do we eat and go out only with those who share
our same views on underwear?
7)
Do we ever feel like establishing a country
based on our underwear choices?
8)
Does it matter if your friend has a Calvin-Klien
or a Rupa?
9)
Are we ready to die for our underwear?
10)
Are we ready to kill for it?
The thing is if I go around asking people for votes because
we share the common brand of underwear, I would probably get a one way ticket
to Agra. But I also realize that underwear is a universal thing and if you are
perceptive enough you would notice that those people who have no concept of
underwear are called primitive, uncivilized (sound familiar?). And for quite a
few, it is the sole purpose of their lives is to make them underwear converts (for
the lack of a better phrase).
To get back to the point: We do not marry on the basis of
underwear, we do not befriend on its basis nor we come to hate others in this
regard. We do not start our business on the auspicious day of Tommy Hilfiger’s
new line of underwear launch. We do not ask for reservation in jobs nor do we
wish to erect an underwear temple at the cost of underwear riots. We do not
claim the tyranny of western influence when we switched from ‘langots’ to
boxers. We have the right to choose our own underwear and quite frankly I think
I could go to court if through some executive order, I am forced to wear one
type in preference to the other.
Yet we can agree on this one point that it is a personal
affair. That you would probably decline a job if your interviewer inquires
about your underwear. It would be considered rude if a bunch of people came to
your house and asked if you had a few moments to talk about the new revelation in
underwear industry. You would also kick out the bunch of motley kids asking you
for donation in the name of chaddi puja. But what would actually infuriate you
is if there occurs a nation-wide campaign to establish ‘chaddistan’.
Through my intensive research I have found a common trait: There
may be different kinds of underwear and we may choose to wear them differently
(superman) but they were all created by humans for the comfort of humans and
any underwear which, through its fanatical consumers, seeks to destroy the
fraternity of humans is torn and in need of replacement.
